Blog Archives

Corsets and Eyeliner

So… What’s your type?   People have always tried to get me to answer this question and not a single person has ever believed me when I answer honestly and explain that people are nice looking but not sexually attractive until I get to know them, I don’t want to have passionate sex with anyone until I can have a passionate discussion, but that answer has only been viewed as a half-truth or an out-right lie.

So now I’ll be completely honest about what traits and behaviors I’m attracted to!

I’m attracted to: confidence, a good sense of humor, activism, bright eyes, self-awareness, sarcasm, passion, soft skin, rough hands, individuality, compassion, a thirst for knowledge, people who wear corsets as/over shirts, avid readers, good writers, people who share my interests, people in my fandoms, Hufflepuffs and people with eyeliner on.  This is FAR from a conclusive list, but if I were to find someone who had/did all of this then I may just want to jump their bones on the spot, although I’d get consent first (safe, sane and consensual!) because that’s important.

Yours in Queerness,
Duo Spiritus

On Jokes, Stereotypeing and Gender “Differences.”

Today I spent time with family members I don’t often spend time with, one in particular, and I was reminded of the reasons for the separation during our visit today.

For the most part I ignore cruel and sexist comments such as “you through like a girl.” But when one is surrounded by such comments, even if they aren’t directed at you or are meant as a joke, it hurts.  Between the sexist jokes of my grandfather, the gender based discrimination at the hands of my own uncle and the silent acceptance of everyone around me except my mother I find my spirit nearing it’s breaking point.

The pain I felt with every assumption made about me based on the presence of breasts on my chest and with every family member that just let it slide…  On a less personal note I must remind all of my readers to avoid making generalizations about anyone based on anything they cannot change.

It’s fine to assume someone is part of a sub-culture if they dress like they are, it’s fine to assume someone is buying books if they are in a book store and it’s fine to assume someone wears a bra if they have boobs.  But other gross generalizations based on BIOLOGICAL FACTS THAT CANNOT BE CHANGED are inappropriate, unfair and rude.

My rant is done, I’ll be back with a more logical and less emotional post some time next year.  Until then, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Yours in Queerness,

Duo Spiritus

You want chivalry?

When my friends talk about finding love they often wonder aloud why they can’t find a person who thinks they are attractive when they first wake up, who will open doors for them, who stands when they walk in the room and who really listens when they talk.  Even the wonderful man I find myself falling for has said these things.  I do these things for most people most of the time, and all the time if I “like-like” the person, but nobody notices.

If this is truly what people want then why don’t they see it when I hand it to them on a silver platter?

I see the pictures on tumblir, facebook and other assorted sites about how “girls just want to date a gentleman” and in my head I scream silently because I know that they mean they want a gentleman who is perfect in EVERY way; tall, white, buff with a penis. (and no boobs)  They don’t mean they want someone who will act like a gentleman, treat them well and see them as beautiful.

I guess for the time being my flirting, my romancing, will continue to be ignored and I will continue to act with chivalry, bravery and honor.  I only hope that eventually someone comes along who actually wants that…

What do you look for in romance? What do you find instead?

Yours in Queerness,                                                                                                                              Duo Spirtus

Justin Bieber

Most people who are anywhere NEAR my age have a strong opinion that is either pro-Bieber or against him, they love him or hate him. I, on the other hand, have no strong opinions about his music, skill or appearance; My only opinion regarding this pop sensation centers around how people who don’t like him “insult” him. I have heard “insults” that go from saying he “looks like a lesbian” to “he must really be a girl” and everything in between and I think it needs to stop.

I’m not going to say I have never been a part of such discussions, or that I don’t find pictures of women who look like Justin Bieber to be amusingly similar, but I am here to say that I don’t think its right. IF Justin really was born female then what difference does it make? IF Justin’s personal style resembles a Lesbian stereotype whom does it hurt? It doesn’t make a difference and it hurts nobody. Not liking the music a young man makes is no reason to be so cruel about things that in no way relate to his music.

The same thing applies to everyone and everything, a persons gender identity should not be questioned because you don’t like them/their actions, if you MUST insult a person use an insult that has to do with the reason you must insult them (or just be nice to people) so the punishment/insult MATCHES the crime.

And as far as “The B-Mister” goes… Just let him make be another “teen heartthrob” until someone younger and more popular comes along or he spirals into anonymity.

Yours in Queerness,
Duo Spiritus

Book Review/Suggestion – Hero by Perry Moore

I think it’s about time for a BOOK REVIEW! So I’ve read the book I’ll review twice now despite the fact I’m not really into super heroes or modern fantasy of this sort, that has GOT to tell you something.

Hero by Perry Moore

Hero is about a young man named Thom Creed who through unknown means develops super powers. Hero is the story of Thom coming to terms with himself and a young man, a potential hero and as a human being. I can’t give away too much here because SO much of the book feels like a spoiler, but I can tell you it has won a ton of awards and really deserves them.

The book’s website is: http://www.perrymoorestories.com/content/hero.asp

I give it 8 1/2 out of 10 and recommend it to ANYONE struggling with themselves or the world.

… Did I mention that Thom is gay? Guess not… Well, he is.

Yours in Queerness,

Duo Spiritus

First “Crush?” Oh Goodness!

Eventually in everyone’s life there comes a time when they fall for someone, in a hetero normative world that means boy meets girl.  But for me it’s a little bit harder…

Just about every afternoon I head down to a wonderful youth program for teenage queerlings like myself to hang out and have fun in an accepting group setting, sometimes this wonderful person (We’ll call him X) comes too and recently I’ve found myself hoping that X will be there when I’m there.  A few days ago when I was trying very hard NOT to gaze longingly at X’s handsomely beautiful face and form I realized what had happened; I was in love with X.  Sounds romantic right?  Not so much, X has said that although he IS also Pansexual he does not often find more feminine forms attractive. (this is the part where I tell you that my body is quite feminine, with curves and the like)

X is also much more experienced then I am, this is quite intimidating.   And if problems with my mind, my self image and his past are not enough there are so many people out there who refuse to see me as pansexual, they all think I only like women.  And though other people should never keep you from love it makes it seem like it would be even WORSE if I were rejected…

Love is always complicated for queers and teens, so I guess it is ever more complicated for queer teens.

Your in queerness,

Duo Spiritus