Blog Archives

Corsets and Eyeliner

So… What’s your type?   People have always tried to get me to answer this question and not a single person has ever believed me when I answer honestly and explain that people are nice looking but not sexually attractive until I get to know them, I don’t want to have passionate sex with anyone until I can have a passionate discussion, but that answer has only been viewed as a half-truth or an out-right lie.

So now I’ll be completely honest about what traits and behaviors I’m attracted to!

I’m attracted to: confidence, a good sense of humor, activism, bright eyes, self-awareness, sarcasm, passion, soft skin, rough hands, individuality, compassion, a thirst for knowledge, people who wear corsets as/over shirts, avid readers, good writers, people who share my interests, people in my fandoms, Hufflepuffs and people with eyeliner on.  This is FAR from a conclusive list, but if I were to find someone who had/did all of this then I may just want to jump their bones on the spot, although I’d get consent first (safe, sane and consensual!) because that’s important.

Yours in Queerness,
Duo Spiritus

Confessions of A Reluctent Brony

Little more than a year ago I was talking to a friend about the “Brony” phenomenon, we decided that My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic wasn’t the worst show targeted at little girls and that it could be worse.

A little under a week ago I was talking with a different friend about my recent exposure to MLP:FIM and my opinion on the show; it’s good, not worth going out of ones way to watch.  I went home that night and out of sheer boredom I started watching the show, from the beginning, and yesterday I watched the final episode of season two.

I LOVE PONIES!
You should go watch ponies.
It’s a great show!
Go watch it.

Yours in Queerness,
Duo Spiritus, Brony.

“No Homo lolol!”

“No homo” is a phrase I’ve heard and seen after phrases as innocuous as (“I love your shoes”) to the most sapphic (“Your tits look GREAT in that top”) and no matter what precedes it the phrase confounds me.   What about paying someone a complement indicates romantic interest?  And isn’t romantic interest just another complement?   If you understand this phenomenon, feel free to explain it to me but if you are as confused as I am then feel free to share this question with whomever insists that they are “no homo.”

Yours in Queerness,
Duo Spiritus

So Today It’s Mother’s day

Mother’s day is a tough day for a lot of people for a lot of reasons; people who have lost their mothers to death or intolerance, mothers’ who have lost their children for the same reasons or people who wish to be mothers but are forbidden by law to adopt.  My heart goes out to all those people but today I am counting my blessings; I have a wonderful mother who loves and supports me in all I do, what more could I want?  I have a mother who fights for human rights on all fronts, what more could I ask for?

So in this post I’d like to say; Thank you mom, I love you.

 

Yours in Queerness,
Duo Spiritus

Risque

Lyrics: (Revamped)
I’ve got birds in my ears
and a devil on my shoulder
and a phone to the other,
and i can’t get a hold of her.
and what’s a crush to do?
what’s a crush to do when ze can’t get through?

medically speaking you’re adorable.
and from what i hear you’re quite affordable.
but i like them pricey.
so exagerate and trick me.
pretty please, just trick me.
pretty please.

I’ve got birds in my ears
and a devil on my shoulder
and a phone to the other,
and i can’t get a hold of him.
and what’s a crush to do?
what’s a crush to do when she can’t get through?

I’m obsessed and stressed with this mess,
i can’t think of things
to write down,
to type down.
and these fingertips are moving faster than these lips.
so you can only imagine how jealous my mouth is.
so you can only imagine how jealous my mouth is.

I got birds in my ears
and a devil on my shoulder
and a phone to the other,
and i can’t get a hold of hir.
and what’s a crush to do?
what’s a crush to do?

I got birds in my ears.
(I got birds in my ears.)
and a devil on my shoulder.
(and a devil on my shoulder.)
what’s a crush
what’s a crush to do?

I turn on a dime, spin me around.
so you can shine, shine right now.
we’ll even have a crowd
we’ll make this purchase count.

medically speaking you’re adorable.
and from what i hear you’re quite affordable.
but i like them pricey
so exagerate and trick me.

I got birds in my ears.
(i gotbirds in my ears.)
and a devil on my shoulder.
(and a devil on my shoulder.)
and what’s a crush to do
what’s a crush to do

I’ve got birds in my ears
(I’ve got birds in my ears)
and a devil on my shoulder
(and a devil on my shoulder)
what’s a crush,
what’s a lush to do?

I’ve got birds in my ears
(I’ve got birds in my ears)
and a devil on my shoulder
(and a devil on my shoulder)
what’s a crush,
what’s a lush to do when he can’t get through?

If You Sing Loud and Clear…

I looked at all my updates and saw a lot of anger and negativity,I thought I’d share something that has always made me feel more optimistic with all of you.  LEt your voices be heard and don’t EVER be afraid to shine!

Yours in Queerness,

Duo Spiritus

Dogs Are Funny People…

So yesterday I was getting ready to leave the house and my dog, Snuffles, was quite displeased with the idea of me leaving the house without him. So smart dog that he is he finds his leash and brings it right to me, when I tell him he isn’t going at put his leash back where it goes he ambled off slowly and before I know it he has placed his leash right on top of the bag I was taking with me. Dogs and cats are just as smart as we are, we just don’t always remember that. So remember to love your dogs, and your friends, neighbors, relative’s dogs and give them lots of treats.

Yours in Queerness,
Duo Spiritus

Body Image and Self Hatred

So far all my blog posts have been rather political or idealistic with very little information that is personal, but not this posy. This post is about body image, body loathing and body changing in others and in myself.

Everyone has two looks; the way they WANT to look, and the way they actually look. Usually the way a person wants to look is based on how society wants them to look because of race, gender, age, location, sexuality or whatever other stupid groups that one can be grouped by. I wish I could say knowing and hating this fact made me immune to it, but it doesn’t. I know how I want to look and I look in the mirror and see only little bits of it, sometimes, if I look hard enough and I’m in a good mood. Mostly I see fat, scars and acne, all things that logically I know have a reason for being there. Logically I know that I am a healthy weight, that acne break outs are a part of growing up and that my scars are monuments to how much pain I survived to get here… But logic plays no part in your feelings.

I know many people who spend hours of thought a day policing what they eat, caloric intake/output, but I can’t do that so instead I spend hours of thought a day SHAMING myself for my food choices. “You ate too much Duo, now you’ll never get thin!” or the nice voice “Did you really need that cookie Duo? You could have just eaten another carrot if you were that hungry.” I spend time debating whether or not to eat (my stomach always wins) and if something makes me skip a meal I’m proud of myself. And then when my head is clear from emotional, body hating voices and words for just a moment another set of words comes along; “Now you’re just like any other teenager Duo, why can’t you be BETTER than the teens that worry about their looks?” so I just cannot win. I get to be ashamed of my shame.

My ideal body may not be the one I would be assigned based on race, age, location or sex at birth but it is a product of media and societal ideals of beauty and sexuality. I want to be skinny, with bigger muscles, slight abs and clear skin. I want to wear crisp white button up shirts and jeans or black slacks with a long black overcoat decorated with chains topped with some kind of dapper cap or dashing hat. Instead I wear jeans and baggy t-shirts (and some form of fancy headwear) to hide the body parts I hate.

I am not the only person in, what seems like, an everlasting internal battle with myself over my body image, but I may well be the only person who never sees someone like themselves portrayed as someone who may have self image issues. It’s almost always girls between 12 and 25 years of age who are portrayed with eating disorders, self image issues and negative thoughts about their own body. Sometimes it’s boys between 14 and 25 years of age but it is NEVER youth outside the gender binary and it is very, very rarely someone younger or older than the ages above.

I think youth who do not conform to gender norms fight even more with body and self image issues because there are so few resources where genderqueer, two spirit, trans, non-gender, gender free, pangender or any other queer labeled youth can find support for their unique and beautiful bodies, clothing that fits both their body and their style and images of happy queer youth of all shapes, sizes, colors, sexes, genders and identities. We have to change this, don’t judge a person by their looks, make no assumptions and complement choices and achievements instead of physical attributes, especially if you are a parental figure or educator.

At the bottom of this post is a video that made me tear up a bit, just remember that the video’s message really should be for people of all genders.

Yours in Queerness,
Duo Spiritus

Book Review/Suggestion – Hero by Perry Moore

I think it’s about time for a BOOK REVIEW! So I’ve read the book I’ll review twice now despite the fact I’m not really into super heroes or modern fantasy of this sort, that has GOT to tell you something.

Hero by Perry Moore

Hero is about a young man named Thom Creed who through unknown means develops super powers. Hero is the story of Thom coming to terms with himself and a young man, a potential hero and as a human being. I can’t give away too much here because SO much of the book feels like a spoiler, but I can tell you it has won a ton of awards and really deserves them.

The book’s website is: http://www.perrymoorestories.com/content/hero.asp

I give it 8 1/2 out of 10 and recommend it to ANYONE struggling with themselves or the world.

… Did I mention that Thom is gay? Guess not… Well, he is.

Yours in Queerness,

Duo Spiritus

It Gets Better When You MAKE It Better!

Although the following post may seem to contradict this; I do (sometimes) enjoy Lady Gaga, ke$sha, Britney Spears, Rihanna and other Pop Music Icons. I watch Glee (and enjoy Santana) and I (to some extent) support the It Gets Better Campaign.

The problem I have with all of these Pop Culture mainstays are twofold, heteronormativity and passivity.

In the song I cannot seem to escape, Lady Gaga’s Born This Way, Lady Gaga gives support to those who are Gay, Straight, Lesbian, Transgender or Bisexual. She leaves those of us who live and love OUTSIDE the gender binary out in the proverbial cold. And beyond that she give naught but support when in reality Queer Human Beings need to stand and fight (with words and peaceful protesting) rather then remind themselves they are “on the right track baby [they] were born this way” and try to wait until “it gets better.” It will NOT get better until the masses give up this passive approach, and IF it does get better not one of us will be around to see it. Hence my annoyance with the It Gets Better Campaign… Yes it is important for ALL teenagers to know that life gets better as they progress through adulthood, but youth need to be told that we need to MAKE it better, not just wait around. If Ruby Bridges had been told that “It Gets Better” would she have been one of the bravest little girls I’ve ever had the pleasure of sharing similar skin pigmentation with? If the members of the resistance and the righteous gentiles during WWII had sat back until “It Gets Better” how many more lives would have been lost before the Allied troops finally stopped waiting for it to get better? Not exactly parallel cases but the message is clear, if you want it to get better then MAKE IT BETTER!

And Glee is just as bad, the Students on the show spend all their time complaining about their drama and then MAKING MORE. They complain about how cruel and mean everyone outside of the Glee club is and then they are cruel and mean to each other within the club. The whole plot is centered on heteronormative stereotypes (even the gay guys) without even a little bit of a twist to them. The writers clearly took the idea that there are no new characters to the extreme…

But on a more positive note, there are some artists who produce music about not only the fact that life gets better but about MAKING it better now, for everyone not just those who fall into clear binary life roles.

Warning, this video may cause emotional responses in anyone with a heart. Side effects of watching this video may include but are not limited to: Anger, Tears, A drive to advocate for human rights and Fear for the youth of the world.

I encourage you all to take a few minutes reflecting on how you can make it better, right now, enjoy some good music and then get out there and make it better. Be it on Facebook, outside, by calling a friend who needs you or by smiling at strangers to give them hope (or all of those and more) and make it better RIGHT NOW and forever.

Yours in Queerness,
Duo Spiritus