Blog Archives

Corsets and Eyeliner

So… What’s your type?   People have always tried to get me to answer this question and not a single person has ever believed me when I answer honestly and explain that people are nice looking but not sexually attractive until I get to know them, I don’t want to have passionate sex with anyone until I can have a passionate discussion, but that answer has only been viewed as a half-truth or an out-right lie.

So now I’ll be completely honest about what traits and behaviors I’m attracted to!

I’m attracted to: confidence, a good sense of humor, activism, bright eyes, self-awareness, sarcasm, passion, soft skin, rough hands, individuality, compassion, a thirst for knowledge, people who wear corsets as/over shirts, avid readers, good writers, people who share my interests, people in my fandoms, Hufflepuffs and people with eyeliner on.  This is FAR from a conclusive list, but if I were to find someone who had/did all of this then I may just want to jump their bones on the spot, although I’d get consent first (safe, sane and consensual!) because that’s important.

Yours in Queerness,
Duo Spiritus

STOP THE SHAME!

I recently participated in a conversation that got me thinking about all the shame associated with sex.  One of my friends admitted to exploring sexuality from a young age and another friend admitted to being uncomfortable with the idea of masturbation, both friends were laughed at and teased for being “too sexual” and “not sexual enough” respectively.

Shame doesn’t do anybody any bit of good, what does it matter if someone’s personal buisness isn’t what you think is right?  What you think is right is just right for you.  Don’t force anyone to conform to your ideals no matter how right you think they are and don’t conform to any ideals that are not your own out of shame.

Stop sex shaming
Stop virginity shaming
Stop kink shaming
Stop woman shaming
Stop man shaming
Stop fetish shaming
STOP SHAMING!

I love and accept you as you are, no matter how “different” you may seem.  And remember, there is a place for you somewhere.

Yours in Queerness,
Duo Spiritus

You want chivalry?

When my friends talk about finding love they often wonder aloud why they can’t find a person who thinks they are attractive when they first wake up, who will open doors for them, who stands when they walk in the room and who really listens when they talk.  Even the wonderful man I find myself falling for has said these things.  I do these things for most people most of the time, and all the time if I “like-like” the person, but nobody notices.

If this is truly what people want then why don’t they see it when I hand it to them on a silver platter?

I see the pictures on tumblir, facebook and other assorted sites about how “girls just want to date a gentleman” and in my head I scream silently because I know that they mean they want a gentleman who is perfect in EVERY way; tall, white, buff with a penis. (and no boobs)  They don’t mean they want someone who will act like a gentleman, treat them well and see them as beautiful.

I guess for the time being my flirting, my romancing, will continue to be ignored and I will continue to act with chivalry, bravery and honor.  I only hope that eventually someone comes along who actually wants that…

What do you look for in romance? What do you find instead?

Yours in Queerness,                                                                                                                              Duo Spirtus

First “Crush?” Oh Goodness!

Eventually in everyone’s life there comes a time when they fall for someone, in a hetero normative world that means boy meets girl.  But for me it’s a little bit harder…

Just about every afternoon I head down to a wonderful youth program for teenage queerlings like myself to hang out and have fun in an accepting group setting, sometimes this wonderful person (We’ll call him X) comes too and recently I’ve found myself hoping that X will be there when I’m there.  A few days ago when I was trying very hard NOT to gaze longingly at X’s handsomely beautiful face and form I realized what had happened; I was in love with X.  Sounds romantic right?  Not so much, X has said that although he IS also Pansexual he does not often find more feminine forms attractive. (this is the part where I tell you that my body is quite feminine, with curves and the like)

X is also much more experienced then I am, this is quite intimidating.   And if problems with my mind, my self image and his past are not enough there are so many people out there who refuse to see me as pansexual, they all think I only like women.  And though other people should never keep you from love it makes it seem like it would be even WORSE if I were rejected…

Love is always complicated for queers and teens, so I guess it is ever more complicated for queer teens.

Your in queerness,

Duo Spiritus