Yesterday I attended a “presentation” about safe sex for queer youth, there were so many problems with the presenter I could not begin to address them all in my blog. But I CAN try to give better answers (based on research, not expertise) to the questions that came up. But remember, I am not a doctor or any other expert on sex of any kind, so read what I have to say and then go look at the resources I paired with each question . And ask a real doctor any important questions.
Q. Could I get HIV/AIDS from food? Or any STD really….
A. Nearly all STDs are transmitted only by the exchange of blood or genital secretions, the exceptions to that rule are genital warts and herpes (as far as I know) in which case it is contact between the sore or wart (as well as blood and genital secretions) and sensitive skin or a wound that can result in contracting the STD. The best way to be safe and avoid STDs is to only have sex with a person you love and trust, and both you and your partner getting tested regularly.
Q. What is a Dental Dam?
A. A dental dam is a piece of latex or silicone that one should place between their mouth and their patners vagina/anus when participating in oral sex. This creates a barrier between partners to prevent spreading of STDs and should be used if you do not know if your partner is free of STDs or you know your partner does indeed have an STD. But the best way to prevent STDs is still to be picky about who you have sex with. Although in the singular case of deantal dams a QUALITY plastic wrap will work as well.
Q. If I ask my doctor for birth control/plan B wont they tell my parents?
A. At age twelve your parents have no right to information shared between you and your gynecologist, for females age twelve is the age they receive legal control over the reproductive health. I do not know if the same is true for biological males…
Q. What about “Pulling out?” Doesn’t that work too?
A. No, “pulling out” provides no protection against STDs and very little protection against unwanted pregnancy. There are indeed sperm in pre-ejaculatory fluids. (pre-cum)
Remember to do your own research, using reliable sources, and wait to have sex until you and a partner you love are ready.
Yours in Queerness,
When my friends talk about finding love they often wonder aloud why they can’t find a person who thinks they are attractive when they first wake up, who will open doors for them, who stands when they walk in the room and who really listens when they talk. Even the wonderful man I find myself falling for has said these things. I do these things for most people most of the time, and all the time if I “like-like” the person, but nobody notices.
If this is truly what people want then why don’t they see it when I hand it to them on a silver platter?
I see the pictures on tumblir, facebook and other assorted sites about how “girls just want to date a gentleman” and in my head I scream silently because I know that they mean they want a gentleman who is perfect in EVERY way; tall, white, buff with a penis. (and no boobs) They don’t mean they want someone who will act like a gentleman, treat them well and see them as beautiful.
I guess for the time being my flirting, my romancing, will continue to be ignored and I will continue to act with chivalry, bravery and honor. I only hope that eventually someone comes along who actually wants that…
What do you look for in romance? What do you find instead?
Yours in Queerness, Duo Spirtus