Category Archives: Questions/Answers

Corsets and Eyeliner

So… What’s your type?   People have always tried to get me to answer this question and not a single person has ever believed me when I answer honestly and explain that people are nice looking but not sexually attractive until I get to know them, I don’t want to have passionate sex with anyone until I can have a passionate discussion, but that answer has only been viewed as a half-truth or an out-right lie.

So now I’ll be completely honest about what traits and behaviors I’m attracted to!

I’m attracted to: confidence, a good sense of humor, activism, bright eyes, self-awareness, sarcasm, passion, soft skin, rough hands, individuality, compassion, a thirst for knowledge, people who wear corsets as/over shirts, avid readers, good writers, people who share my interests, people in my fandoms, Hufflepuffs and people with eyeliner on.  This is FAR from a conclusive list, but if I were to find someone who had/did all of this then I may just want to jump their bones on the spot, although I’d get consent first (safe, sane and consensual!) because that’s important.

Yours in Queerness,
Duo Spiritus

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“No Homo lolol!”

“No homo” is a phrase I’ve heard and seen after phrases as innocuous as (“I love your shoes”) to the most sapphic (“Your tits look GREAT in that top”) and no matter what precedes it the phrase confounds me.   What about paying someone a complement indicates romantic interest?  And isn’t romantic interest just another complement?   If you understand this phenomenon, feel free to explain it to me but if you are as confused as I am then feel free to share this question with whomever insists that they are “no homo.”

Yours in Queerness,
Duo Spiritus

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice…

I was talking with some women a few days ago about the expectations of their gender that bothered them most, the unanimous answer seemed to be having their anger belittled. “It’s your time of the month isn’t it?” “Calm down, it’s just PMS.” And other such jokes are the most overt ways that women and girls are told that it’s not ACCEPTABLE for them to be angry, that their anger or annoyance isn’t as IMPORTANT as someone else’s.  It gets subtler and more damaging too; if a little boy hits someone out of anger in play I’ve seen them scolded for violence and told to find better ways to deal with anger, but if a little girl does the same thing she is informed that “it isn’t ladylike to hit” and that she “shouldn’t get so upset about thing.” What is the message there? To me the message is simply that anger is for boys.

The double standard is perpetuated through nursery rhymes such as “ What are little boys made of? Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails. That’s what little boys are made of ! What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and all things nice. That’s what little girls are made of!” and the toys given to children, when older kids are roughhousing and misbehaving girls are called “trouble makers” while boys are just “being boys,” and when teens go through angry stages girls are always just hormonal while boys are rebelling and growing up.

Yours in queerness,
Duo Spiritus

“My Little Tomboy”

I haven’t written in a while because I haven’t had much to write about but recently I was at a sleepover and we got to talking about the pros and cons of being our gender, one of the males in the group said that one of the downsides of being male was that it’s less acceptable for you to express feminine interests or mannerisms while if your female it’s more acceptable to express masculine interests and mannerisms. That conversation stayed in my mind as I slept that night (or from three in the morning when we went to sleep until six when I woke up) and until now as I write about it, as I thought about it I realized something that was new to me although I’m sure many others have determined this already; I finally understood WHY what my friend (We’ll call him Jim) said was true, Jim’s point was accurate because in our culture masculinity is associated with power and strength while femininity is linked with submission and weakness. A female bodied person who embraces all or some aspects of stereotypical masculinity is viewed as wanting power, and wanting power is socially acceptable, while a male bodied person who embraces conventional aspects of femininity is impossible to understand because it feels like someone trading strength for weakness.

That epiphany got me wondering how, in what we call “western” culture, masculinity became synonymous with strength and power when in so many older societies the people who bore the children were considered the powerful and the strong. What causes a society to be matriarchal or patriarchal in the first place? What might cause a shift of power? Why is it that in a communities that deny sexism a little girl can be called a “tomboy” affectionately while the term “sissy boy” is still derogatory? What do you think?

Yours in queerness,
Duo Spiritus

Well It’s Christmas Eve (for most people)

And for most that means some kind of family tradition; be it Chinese food, fondue, open just ONE present, breakfast for dinner, making cookies or anything else.

I know in my family we have dinner at my aunts house every year on Christmas eve, exchange gifts and then go home and open one gift before leaving cookies and milk out for Santa.

What do you do for Christmas eve? Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas.  Does your family have any other fun holiday traditions for this time of year?  Do you have any funny holiday stories?  Share them with the world!

A Glossary of Terms

I realized I’ve used a lot of words that aren’t commonly understood in my blogs, I thought it might be useful for readers who aren’t as queer-savvy as I am if I defined some of the more unusual terms I use. Feel free to use this post as a place to ask me about any words I used that are new to you or ask questions about definitions. Or give me word puzzles, I like those…

So let us commence with the words!

Gender Binary: This is the idea of gender that I find to be incorrect. The gender binary is the idea that there are only two genders; Male and Female, and that a person is either one or the other.

Two Spirit: This is an ancient ideology about gender, nearly every tribe of ancient people on the American continent, and many on both the African and Asian continents, has that states there are people born with both Male and Female spirits inside their bodies/minds. A person with two spirits may be biologically male or female or they may be born with ambiguous genitalia. Someone with two spirits may present as androgynous, as the gender that is “opposite” their sex-at-birth or a style that encompasses all gender norms.

Pansexual: Pansexuality is a sexual orientation that unlike homosexuality or heterosexuality is love without gender bounds. A person who is pansexual may fall in love with a woman or a man, be they biological or transgender, or someone who is outside of the gender binary.

Queer: I use Queer as an alternative to LGBT or any other initial as it is shorter and more inclusive then any set of initials could be.

I’ll update this as I see fit, or as you need me to.

Reader Questions!

I know I have some readers now, hopefully you’ll all become faithful readers, so it’s time for the first of many blogs asking to learn about YOUR burning questions.  I want to know what you want to know; Do you want me to review a book you love? Do you want my opinion about something going on in the world today? Do you have burning questions about me?  Ask away readers, ask away.  I’ll answer any questions I get in a few days in a new blog post.  Just ask in the comments for this post.

Yours in Queerness,

Duo Spiritus

Greetings people of ____ (insert planet/location/clan/cult)!

To kick off the start of my blogging life I’ll tell you all a little bit about myself, in a LIST!

  1. I’m 16 years old
  2. I’m learning to drive
  3. I LOVE soccer
  4. I’m two-spirit
  5. My spelling is awful
  6. I listen to lots of “weird” music
  7. I am a total theater nerd/geek/aficionado/addict
  8. I am pansexual/romantic
  9. I love to read
  10. I AM a potterhead
  11. I don’t do drugs, drink or sleep around
  12. I LOVE music
  13. When I grow up I want to perform on stage and be paid well enough for it that I can live comfortably and not work a second job, or do that and select work as a lawyer
  14. I love dogs
  15. I like other animals
  16. I write short stories (and may post a few…)

I’d say that’s enough for now, my blog posts will have more than enough information about me.

If anyone reading this has any questions for me feel free to ask in a comment to this post, if I get enough I’ll answer them in a blog!

Yours in queerness,

Duo Spiritus